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Brave Light and Honest Grief
On Collective Courage and the Lifelines That Carry Us Through
Brian Stefan
July 18, 2025
💌 Dear friends of the California Grief Center,
“No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.”
In times of sorrow, we look to the lightbearers.
Today is Nelson Mandela Day, a call to honor the legacy of one life lived in fierce, luminous truth. And just days ago marked three years since the launch of 988, the National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — a quiet, steady number that answers when the darkness presses in.
Both are reminders that even in despair, there are still ways to reach one another.
These are days of collective ache.
In Los Angeles, we’ve endured so much already this year — January’s fires that erased entire blocks, the lingering tailwinds of a pandemic that reshaped everything, economic aftershocks from the strikes, and the heartbreak of state-driven separation. It’s a lot. Too much, sometimes.
And yet, a gentle truth persists:
The smallest act of care can be a radical act of hope.
To look up. To notice. To reach out.
Grief strips us down to what matters. It softens us, teaches us how to be human with each other — not despite our pain, but because of it. When we stand beside someone in sorrow, something luminous unfolds:
✨ We remember we’re not alone.
✨ We remember that love still lives here.
Maybe this is how we endure: by showing up. By offering presence, listening, and the flicker of a light that says, “I see you.”
🔦 In This Issue
🕊 The Fire That Stayed: Winnie Madikizela-Mandela and the Long Grief of a Nation
A look at the complicated legacy of a woman shaped by exile, grief, and fierce resistance — and what her survival still teaches us today.
🕯️ Echoes & Endings: John Lewis (1940–2020)
On the fifth anniversary of his passing, we revisit the roadmap John Lewis left behind for grief, justice, and courageous love.
📞 Three Years of 988: What We’ve Learned From Listening
Marking the anniversary of a lifeline — and exploring how connection, presence, and post-suicidality growth are reshaping the future of mental health.
🎭 Upcoming Gatherings: Catharsis Theater for Grief & Loss, HOPE Mindfulness, and More
In-person and virtual spaces for collective healing — where grief is held, stories are shared, and love lives on.
✨ The Tangled Net #3: The Globalization of Madness
How mental health became a global export — and why reclaiming cultural wisdom may be the antidote to a one-size-fits-all model of sanity.
🎉 Victory for the Arts in Los Angeles
ArtsUp! LA stands tall in a time of political pressure — protecting access to theater and championing voices that refuse to be hidden.
🌊 How We Help at CGC: Therapy, Groups, and Communal Healing
An overview of the California Grief Center’s services — where no one walks through sorrow alone, and every loss is honored with care.
🕊 The Fire That Stayed: Winnie Madikizela-Mandela and the Long Grief of a Nation
Winnie Madikizela-Mandela
Today, on Nelson Mandela Day, we also remember Winnie Madikizela-Mandela — not just as a political figure, but as a woman forged by loss, exile, and fire.
Born in Pondoland, her name, Nomzamo, meant “she who must endure trials.” And she did. From early family losses to solitary confinement, from raising daughters alone to bearing the symbolic widowhood of Nelson’s 27-year imprisonment — she endured grief that was both deeply personal and brutally public.
“I knew what it is to hate.”
She gave away her dress to a child in need. She resisted dehumanization in court. She mothered under surveillance, survived betrayals, endured public scrutiny — and still, she came back to Soweto. Still, she refused to be erased.
Yes, her legacy is complex. And yet, for many — especially Black working-class women in South Africa — she remained beloved.
She was both mother and militant, beloved and controversial. Her story asks us to sit with grief that doesn’t resolve neatly — the kind that insists we return and look again.
Today, as we honor Nelson Mandela’s legacy of service, we also remember that survival is service — and survival often carries scars.
Winnie endured for all of us.
May we carry her fire forward.
🕯️ Echoes & Endings | John Lewis (1940–2020)
John Robert Lewis, American civil rights activist and politician who served in the United States House of Representatives for Georgia's 5th congressional district.
John Lewis — boy preacher from Troy, Alabama.
Conscience of a nation.
Five years ago this week, he died of pancreatic cancer. He left us a cracked skull from Selma, a 17-term legacy in Congress, and something greater: a roadmap for how to grieve, how to fight with love, and how to hope when hope feels impossible.
He called it good trouble.
Necessary trouble.
What love looks like in public.
“Give until you cannot give any more,” Lewis urged. And then he gave more.
He knew grief — political, personal, collective. And still, he called us toward courage. Toward love. Toward one another.
If you feel weary this week, remember him.
Remember the boy who preached to chickens.
The man who faced batons with prayer.
The elder who stood in Congress and said:
“We will make a way out of no way.”
✨ Then: Get in good trouble. Bring someone with you.
📞 Three Years of 988: A Lifeline in an Age of Crisis
A lifeline through darkness, and what we’ve learned in three years of listening.
Need someone to talk to? Call, text, or chat 988 for free, 24/7 support from trained counselors. Help is just three digits away.
On July 16, 2022, 988 launched — not just a new number, but a new message:
You matter. You’re not alone. Help is here.
Since then, millions have reached out. And for many, it was the first time someone truly listened.
🕯️ Where suicide prevention began
It didn’t start in D.C. — it started in Los Angeles, 1962.
Three researchers, grieving the death of Marilyn Monroe, asked: What if suicide could be prevented?
The result: the Didi Hirsch Suicide Prevention Center — the first of its kind, and still answering 988 calls today.
🌱 What comes after suicidality?
At CGC, we talk about Post-Suicidality Growth (PSG) — the sacred, messy process of choosing to live, even when you weren’t sure you wanted to.
✨ PSG isn’t the absence of pain — it’s proof that healing is possible.
🖤 For those left behind
Some do not stay.
We hold space for suicide loss survivors — for their grief, guilt, silence, and unanswered questions.
We don’t fix. We witness.
Because grief needs a witness.
🌱 988 is just the beginning
The world is hurting. But we know what works.
✨ Connection is more powerful than shame.
✨ Presence can save a life.
988 isn’t perfect — but it’s a lifeline.
📞 If you or someone you love is in crisis, call or text 988.
You’re not alone. Stay with us.
🌱 Upcoming Gatherings for Collective Healing
Because grief is too heavy to carry alone.
🎭 Feel It, Heal It: Catharsis Theater for Grief & Loss
Saturday, July 26 | 1–4:30 PM | Blue Door Theater, Culver City
The Blue Door Theater in Culver City
Beyond the curtain is a circle of courage and relief.
Join us for our 38th Catharsis Theater session — rooted in psychodrama, community, and shared healing.
💗 You’ll experience:
Proven, Body-Based Tools for Emotional Relief
Grounded practices that help release tension, process emotions, and restore balance.Shared Storytelling and Meaning-Making
A structured group process that brings clarity, connection, and insight through real-life stories.Breathwork and Courageous Witnessing
Simple, effective techniques to regulate the nervous system and support one another in a safe, present-centered way.
🎭 Why psychodrama?
Born in 1920s Vienna, psychodrama invites us to step into the story — to discover what needs to be felt, reclaimed, or released.
✨ It’s not clinical therapy — but it is deeply therapeutic.
✨ It honors the ancient truth: sometimes we heal best in circle.
🕯️ HOPE: Mindfulness & Healing for Deep Suffering
Saturday, July 26 | 10–11:30 AM PT | Virtual (Zoom)
HOPE for all.
Since April 2020, we’ve come together to practice mindfulness in the midst of grief and deep suffering. Maybe the opposite of suffering isn’t the absence of pain — maybe it’s connection.
This month’s theme: Mindfulness, Disability, and Change
Featuring special guests from ArtsUP! LA
Includes guided meditation, a short teaching, and a grounding ritual.
💛 Donation-based and open to all
🪻 Rooted Together: Virtual Support During the Political Storm
Thursday, July 31 | 12:00–1:00 PM PT | Virtual | Free
Rooted Together: A weekly virtual gathering hosted by NASW to support communities in crisis through connection, care, and collective healing.
In partnership with NASW-CA, this virtual support group offers space for healing, reflection, and community care — especially for those impacted by immigration enforcement, state violence, or collective trauma.
Open to all: social workers, helping professionals, impacted individuals, and allies.
Led by Brian Stefan, LCSW and other NASW-CA facilitators.
✨ Because we all need a place to exhale.
✨ The Tangled Net (Issue #3): The Globalization of Madness
What happens when mental health becomes the world’s newest export?
A net cast across the world catches more than diagnoses — it gathers stories, cultures, and the messy wonder of being human.
From colonial asylums to TikTok self-diagnoses, this issue explores the tangled history of psychiatry, culture, and the global marketplace of sanity.
🪝 Who decides what’s “normal”?
📱 How does the algorithm shape our suffering?
🌍 What healing have we forgotten?
✨ Maybe the mind isn’t broken — maybe it’s breaking open.
🎉 Victory for the Arts in Los Angeles
This grant fuels our mission to make theater accessible to all — including people with disabilities, veterans, and LA’s youth. Onward with purpose and possibility!
Despite mounting political pressure, ArtsUP! LA stood tall — refusing to erase disability or dilute their mission.
They just received a major grant from the L.A. County Department of Arts & Culture, recognizing their trailblazing work.
And a special thank you to Supervisor Lindsey P. Horvath of the LA County Board of Supervisors, 3rd District, for being a champion of what truly matters in the lives of Angelenos.
ArtsUP! LA serves people with disabilities, military veterans, and Los Angeles youth — building the only theater company in America led entirely by blind performers.
Their motto?
Unlimited possibility. Saying yes. Equity through joy.
🌊 How we help at California Grief Center
Brian Stefan, LCSW
Founder, California Grief Center
Grief isn’t a problem to fix.
It’s love, mourning what mattered — and longing to be witnessed.
💬 We walk alongside individuals, families, and communities through the shifting terrain of loss.
👥 Our groups offer space for care, story, and shared breath.
🎭 Through Catharsis Theater, your grief becomes part of a communal story — one held with compassion.
✨ Consultations are always free.
Whenever you're ready — we're here.
💛 With heart,
Brian Stefan, LCSW
Founder, California Grief Center
🕊️ Facing the hurt — together.
✅ P.S.
Know someone quietly grieving?
👉 Forward this letter. Everyone belongs.
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Facing the hurt — together.