The Grief Wave: Endings as Beginnings

🧭 TL;DR | This Week at a Glance

✨ Profiles & Ideas
🎖️ Army Col. Amy Neiman — A career of courage, law, and leadership in uniform
🌊 The Tangled Net #13: The Death of Local Knowledge — When grandmother's wisdom gets replaced by algorithmic advice
🕯️ Echoes & Endings | Kongjian Yu (1963–2025) — Remembering the visionary who taught cities to dance with rain

📰 News & Reminders
💻 If A.I. Can Diagnose Patients, What Are Doctors For? — Large language models are transforming medicine—but the technology comes with side effects.
🧠 Dementia Moves from Margin to Mandate — UN leaders acknowledge the burden and set a course for care and prevention
💔 Letters from an American (Sept-21-25) — American history and the health of American democracy

🎉 Events & Gatherings
🎉 Sep 27 — Jack Kornfield & Trudy Goodman’s 80th Celebration (Santa Monica | Virtual)
🌅 Sep 27 — September Mindfulness & Deep Suffering HOPE Group — Final Session (Donation-based | Virtual)

🌊 California Grief Center
Therapy, groups, Catharsis Theater, and training for every stage of grief.

💌 Dear friends of The Grief Wave,

Grief moves through our lives like a tide—sometimes quiet, sometimes overwhelming, always leaving its mark. It is never only an ending, but also a beginning, carrying memory forward even as it reshapes us.

This week’s stories trace grief’s wide reach: in the courage of service and sacrifice, in the quiet loss of traditional knowledge, in the vision of leaders who taught us to live with the forces of nature, and in the silent crises unfolding in our communities. Each story reminds us that grief is not only loss—it is also a thread that binds us to one another, to presence, and to the possibility of beginning again together.

✨ Profiles & Ideas

🎖️ Army Col. Amy Neiman

A career of courage, law, and leadership in uniform

Colonel Amy Nieman has dedicated her career to service, law, and leadership in the U.S. Army. From her early years as a Medical Service Corps officer to multiple combat deployments in Afghanistan and Iraq, she has carried both the weight of duty and the responsibility of care, earning recognition as a Jumpmaster and frontline leader.

Now a senior Judge Advocate, she has held roles across the Army’s most demanding legal arenas: prosecutor, Special Forces Group counsel, appellate branch chief, and deputy staff judge advocate at both West Point and U.S. Army Special Operations Command. She has helped stand up detention operations, advised on constitutional law, and guided strategic policy from the Pentagon.

Most recently, Colonel Nieman was caught in controversy over social media posts, leading to suspension from her role. Yet for those who know her service, this moment underscores the tension between personal expression and professional duty in today’s military.

Through it all, she represents the best of America—dedication, integrity, and a career defined by sacrifice in both combat and the courtroom, ensuring soldiers’ sacrifices are honored and the rule of law is upheld.

🌊 The Tangled Net #13: The Death of Local Knowledge

When grandmother's wisdom gets replaced by algorithmic advice

Knowledge is the body of a people, and when it erodes, the whole community feels unsettled. Grandmothers’ wisdom is silenced by apps, farmers’ soil sense is traded for imported seed guides, midwives’ hands are replaced by protocols that fit other climates, other histories. The loss does not arrive as a crash but as quiet fractures—one conversation unspoken, one tradition untaught. What disappears is not weakness, but the signal of bonds broken.

Researchers trace the displacement in farming failures, medical gaps, and cultural anxiety. These are not illusions but evidence—harvests collapsing, mothers doubting their instincts, young people losing trust in their elders. The net of wisdom frays when knowledge meant for one soil is forced upon another. Context dies in silence, even while information multiplies.

Our task is to defend this truth—listening to what traditions teach, choosing discernment over dismissal, so that modernity can become a path toward integration rather than a force of erasure.

🕯️ Echoes & Endings | Kongjian Yu (1963–2025)

Remembering the visionary who taught cities to dance with rain

Kongjian Yu’s legacy is remembered not just in landscapes, but as a testament to resilience and imagination. Born from a farmer’s son who learned from rice paddies and rain, he showed the world that cities could absorb water like sponges, bending with the seasons and turning floods into renewal. His work proved that survival in the age of climate change is not about resistance—it is about learning to dance with water.

From his founding of Turenscape to his teaching at Peking University, Yu redefined how we think about urban life, creating sponge cities that transformed wastelands into wetlands, storm drains into parks, and rigid infrastructure into living systems. His philosophy—that landscapes must first serve life—now guides a generation of planners and students worldwide.

The legacy endures—in every park that filters stormwater, every wetland that shelters birds, every city that chooses adaptation over collapse. Yu’s vision lives on as both a milestone and a call to action, reminding us that resilience is not optional—it is the foundation of survival in a changing world.

📰 News & Reminders

💻 If A.I. Can Diagnose Patients, What Are Doctors For?

Large language models are transforming medicine—but the technology comes with side effects.

A new New Yorker report details how artificial intelligence is reshaping diagnosis in medicine. Patients like Matthew Williams, who endured years of gastrointestinal distress, found answers through ChatGPT after eight doctors failed to solve his case. Large language models like CaBot, developed at Harvard, now rival physicians in clinical reasoning—but they also hallucinate symptoms, miss red flags, and sometimes endanger patients.

The story highlights more than one man’s recovery — it shows how the rise of A.I. is forcing medicine to confront its future. Doctors, students, and patients are navigating the tension between human judgment and machine precision, experimenting with ways to combine both. Read the full article to see how A.I. is transforming healthcare—and what risks and promises lie ahead.

🧠 Dementia Moves from Margin to Mandate

UN leaders acknowledge the burden and set a course for care and prevention

For the first time, a United Nations declaration is pledging to address dementia, alongside other major health threats like cardiovascular disease and diabetes. The move marks a watershed moment for advocates who have long called for recognition of the condition, which affects 57 million people worldwide. Leaders say it could help shift stigma, expand services, and bring long-overdue attention to families struggling for care.

The declaration underscores more than one policy change — it shows how global health leaders are rethinking dementia as a societal challenge rather than a private burden. Supporters argue recognition could lead to prevention campaigns, improved support for caregivers, and stronger integration into national health systems. Read the full article to see how governments, advocates, and families are weighing the stakes and next steps.

💔 Letters from an American (Sept-21-25)

American history and the health of American democracy

The week of September 21–25 saw a sharp escalation of the administration’s efforts to tighten control. It began with silence around key facts: the Bureau of Labor Statistics postponed its consumer-expenditures report, and the Agriculture Department ended its annual food-security survey that had revealed 18 million struggling households. These moves landed as SNAP faced record cuts.

At the United Nations, António Guterres called for law, dignity, and cooperation, but Trump delivered a grievance-laden speech attacking migrants, clean energy, and the U.N. itself. He later claimed Ukraine could “WIN,” even as Republicans canceled negotiations over government funding and tried to jam the Senate with a partisan plan. In contrast, public outcry restored Jimmy Kimmel Live! to the air, drawing millions of viewers and underscoring the power of collective resistance.

By week’s end, the administration pressed further. OMB director Russell Vought threatened mass firings, the Justice Department indicted James Comey and sued states for voter rolls, and the National Archives improperly released Rep. Mikie Sherrill’s records. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth summoned 800 generals to Quantico, and a sweeping memo branded progressive activism a “terror network.”

Yet in the face of authoritarian pressure, democratic habits persist: journalists continue to report, courts can still check abuses, citizens protest censorship, and voters—even in Arizona this week—deliver narrow but decisive wins. Heather Cox Richardson reminds us that while the tools of fear are familiar, so too are the traditions of courage, law, and solidarity. These remain alive, and they are stronger when people choose to use them.

🎉 Events & Gatherings

🎉 A Joyful Celebration: Honoring the 80th Birthdays of Jack Kornfield & Trudy Goodman

Saturday, September 27, 2025 | 2:00–5:00 PM PT

Guided presence, shared stories, and gratitude for two beloved mindfulness teachers. Proceeds support InsightLA’s mission of access, equity, and care.

📅 Saturday, September 27 | 2:00–5:00 PM PT | Santa Monica + Live Online

🌅 Hope Group: September Mindfulness & Deep Suffering Gathering — Final Session

Virtual (Zoom) | Saturday, September 27, 2025 | 11:00–12:30 PM PT

Since 2020, HOPE has been a steady refuge in turbulent times—a place to pause, breathe, and remember we are not alone.

As we close this chapter, we turn gently upstream, carrying forward the spirit of presence into a new gathering devoted to grief, loss, change, and transition. Starting in October, we will meet this new age of grief with mindful awareness, heartful practice, and a compassionate online community.

All are welcome to join our regular Mindfulness-Based Grief Relief (MBGR) series.

💛 Donation-based & open to all.

🌊 Get Help from the California Grief Center

You do not have to grieve alone. Whether you have lost someone, lost your way, or carry unspoken sorrow, there is a place for you here.

What We Offer:

• Grief Therapy (in-person and virtual)

• Catharsis Theater (monthly gatherings)

• Virtual Support Groups (confidential and facilitated)

Our Philosophy: We do not treat grief as a problem. We treat it as a passage.
Consultations are always free.

💛 With care,
Brian Stefan, LCSW
Founder & Clinical Director
California Grief Center

✅ P.S. Know someone quietly grieving?
👉 Forward this letter. You never know who needs it.
💌 To get these in your inbox, sign up for The Grief Wave Newsletter.