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The Grief Wave: Holding Loss, Finding Connection

The Grief Wave: Holding Loss, Finding Connection

Reflections on grief, resilience, and the ties that carry us forward

Brian Stefan
September 09, 2025

🧭 TL;DR | This Week at a Glance

✨ Profiles & Ideas
🔒 Elizabeth Tsurkov freed after 903 days in captivity
🕯️ Grief 101: Digital Ghosts — Grief in the Age of Algorithms
📖 So Lonely — New Book on Loneliness and Belonging
🏆 Christy Anderson honored with Service Award & Hall of Fame Induction

📰 News & Insights
🍎 Nation’s Report Card shows troubling declines in science, math, and reading
🏥 Medicaid cuts threaten children’s hospitals nationwide
❤️ Suicide care: moving from coercion to collaboration

🎉 Events & Gatherings
🕯️ Sep 11 — Anniversaries of Loss and Trauma: A Mindfulness Practice for Social Workers, Therapists, and Practitioners (FREE | Virtual)
🎭 Sep 12 — Let’s Write a Musical! + Talkback with Ken Ross (LA)
⌨️ Sep 12 — Analog Hangout with Typewriters Anonymous (Pasadena)
🤝 Sep 12–13 — 15th Annual Los Angeles Suicide Prevention Summit (FREE event | Pasadena)
🔔 Sep 19 — Centering Through Change: Yin Yoga, Breath, Sound, and Community (Santa Monica)
🍂 Sep 21 — Caring for the Caregivers (FREE wellness event + dinner | LA)
🎂 Sep 27 — Jack Kornfield & Trudy Goodman’s 80th Celebration (Santa Monica | Virtual)
🌅 Sep 27 — September Mindfulness & Deep Suffering HOPE Group — Final Session (Donation-based | Virtual)

🌊 California Grief Center
Therapy, groups, Catharsis Theater, and training for every stage of grief

💌 Dear friends of The Grief Wave,

Facing the hurt — together.

This week reminds us that grief is woven into every season of life — the fading of light, the closing of chapters, the small traces of what was. Loss leaves marks we can’t ignore, yet it also carries us into what comes next.

The stories and gatherings ahead reflect this truth: grief is not only absence. It is the thread that holds us to memory, to presence, and to one another. And in that connection lies the possibility of renewal — the chance to begin again, together.

✨ Profiles & Ideas

🔒 Elizabeth Tsurkov: Israeli-Russian graduate student freed after 903 days

"A woman with long dark hair and glasses, wearing a gray hoodie and crossbody bag, stands smiling on a busy city street with people walking behind her. Neon signs and small street vendors line the background."

Elizabeth Tsurkov, pictured in 2017, in Istanbul. (Ahmad Mohamad/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images)

Elizabeth Tsurkov, a Princeton doctoral candidate and expert on the Middle East, endured more than two years of captivity in Iraq at the hands of Kataib Hezbollah. Even in absence, her voice carried through her family’s advocacy and the scholars she inspired.

Now, with her safe return, her story reminds us that freedom is not only survival — it is the chance to contribute, to uplift communities, and to dream again.

🕯 Grief 101: Digital Ghosts

When the internet keeps the dead alive, and how we navigate love in the age of algorithms

"Smartphone screen showing popular social media app icons, including Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and WhatsApp."

The reality of grief in the digital age—a landscape no previous generation has had to navigate. (iStockphoto/bigtunaonline)

Algorithms remind us of birthdays for friends who will never age, surface photos of loved ones long gone, and suggest connections with profiles that will never respond.

These “digital ghosts” can comfort when we seek them, but they can also ambush us when we least expect it. The task is not to erase these traces but to shape intentional relationships with them — choosing when and how to remember so that digital echoes support healing rather than deepen pain.

📖 So Lonely: Our Desire for Community — And What Drives Us Apart (New Book)

“Loneliness is not getting the social contact we desire.”

Book cover of "So Lonely: Our Desire for Community—And What Drives Us Apart" by Hilde Østby. The image shows a tiny, isolated island with a few trees, surrounded by mist and calm water, evoking solitude and distance. A quote from Johann Hari at the top praises the book as "a beautiful meditation on one of the most important and difficult topics of our time."

Norwegian writer Hilde Østby’s new book

In her new book, Norwegian writer Hilde Østby traces the epidemic of loneliness across psychology, politics, and culture. From pandemic isolation to systemic exclusion, she shows how disconnection harms both our bodies and our societies.

Her challenge is urgent: how do we rebuild trust, warmth, and belonging in a world where too many are pushed to the margins?

🏆 Christy Anderson

2025 Blooming Prairie Education Foundation Distinctive Service Award Winner & Hall of Fame Inductee

A smiling woman with blonde hair, wearing a black blazer over a black T-shirt with partial white text, standing against a light gray wall with one hand on her hip.

From small town roots to global impact, Christy Anderson proves one person’s compassion can change the world.

This September in Blooming Prairie, Minnesota, Christy Anderson will be honored with the 2025 Distinctive Service Award and inducted into the local Education Foundation’s Hall of Fame.

As Director of the New Arrival Supper Club (Miry’s List) and Founder of Claremont Canopy, Christy has built communities of welcome where refugee families and local neighbors share more than food — they share dignity, hope, and belonging.

Her story reminds us what is possible when compassion leads.

📰 News & Warnings

🍎 Nation's Report Card Is Out

National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) shows drops in science, math and reading scores

A detailed illustration of a bustling school building seen in cutaway style, showing classrooms, hallways, a library, science lab, art room, and offices filled with students, teachers, and staff. Outside, kids play basketball, ride a school bus, and walk through the parking lot, creating a lively and busy scene of school life.

(John Rego for NPR)

Student test scores in science, math, and reading continue to fall nationwide, with federal funding cuts worsening the outlook.

Read the full article to see how these shifts could shape the future of schools and student learning.

🏥 Trump's Medicaid Cuts Will Hit Children's Hospitals

Experts warn of long-term consequences for pediatric care

A building lit with blue neon lights at night, featuring a glowing handprint with a heart symbol. Windows display supportive messages, including “We are in this together” and the Spanish version “Estamos todos juntos en esto.”

Phoenix Children's Hospital, pictured during the pandemic on April 15, 2020, stands to lose $172 million a year, its chief executive says. (Ross D. Franklin/AP)

Trump’s proposed Medicaid cuts could gut services at pediatric hospitals, with Phoenix Children’s bracing for a $172 million annual loss.

You can read the full piece to understand what’s at stake—and what it means for the future of pediatric medicine.

❤️ Fear of Suicide, Control, and Effective Hospitalizations

Inpatient care for suicidal risk should rely on effective treatments (Suicide Prevention Awareness Month)

A middle-aged man with short gray hair wearing a navy blue suit, light blue shirt, and patterned tie, smiling in front of a plain gray background.

Dr. David A. Jobes, Professor of Psychology at Catholic University, Director of the Suicide Prevention Lab, and creator of the CAMS model.

Dr. David Jobes has spent his career reshaping how we understand and treat suicide risk, creating the Collaborative Assessment and Management of Suicidality (CAMS) and leading groundbreaking trials that prove its effectiveness. At Catholic University, where he directs the Suicide Prevention Lab, he has trained countless clinicians while advising national organizations and publishing widely on the need for evidence-based care.

This moment feels especially urgent as debates continue over the limits of psychiatric hospitalization and the fear-driven control it often imposes.

Jobes’ mission is both clinical and human: to replace coercion with collaboration, and to remind us that the path out of despair is not force, but the restoration of voice, dignity, and hope.

🎉 Events & Gatherings

🕯️ Anniversaries of Loss and Trauma: A Mindfulness Practice for Social Workers, Therapists, and Practitioners

Thursday, September 11 | 12:00–1:30 PM PST/ 2:00–3:30 CST/ 3:00 PM–4:30 EST | Zoom (FREE)

American flags and flowers placed on engraved names at the 9/11 Memorial reflecting pool in New York City, honoring those who died in the September 11 attacks.

Photo from the 23rd anniversary of 9/11 in Lower Manhattan (AP Photo/Donald King)

Join from 12–1:30 PM (PT) on Zoom this Thursday, September 11, for Anniversaries of Loss and Trauma: A Mindfulness Practice for Social Workers, Therapists, and Practitioners — a free professional development session on healing, reflection, and resilience.

Explore the impact of trauma anniversaries on mind and body, practice gentle mindfulness tools for noticing what arises, reflect on how these dates affect clients and communities, and take part in a closing ritual of compassion and connection.

All therapists, clinicians, and providers are welcome. Free to attend.

🎭 Let’s Write a Musical!

Friday, September 12, 2025 | 8:00 PM | Los Angeles

Talkback with Ken Ross, CEO of the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation (and Elisabeth’s son), on grief, hope, and how art sparks conversations about dying and death.

“Promotional poster with stage lights and wooden floorboards that reads: ‘LET’S WRITE A MUSICAL!’ Opening September 5, 2025 | Hudson Theatre | Los Angeles.”

A joyous celebration of love, resilience, and the timeless magic of musicals.

This heartfelt and inspiring production follows David Hamilton and his wife as they embark on writing a romantic comedy in the wake of David’s cancer diagnosis. As their real-life struggles unfold, so does the parallel story of Olive and Blake, a young couple in the 1950s navigating love, laughter, and life’s unexpected turns.

✨ Special Dates

September 12: Fundraiser for the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation
September 13: TeenTix Night
September 14: Stand Up To Cancer Night

⌨️ Analog Hangout with Typewriters Anonymous

Friday, September 12, 2025 | 7:00–9:00 PM | Pasadena

A vintage black Corona typewriter with round keys sits on a wooden surface. Overlaid text reads “Analog Hangouts” at the top, “WITH TYPEWRITERS” in the center, and “ANONYMOUS” in bold orange at the bottom, styled in a colorful, retro design.

Founded by Phillip and Elisabeth Nails, Typewriters Anonymous creates interactive moments of mindfulness within the joy of community.

This creative and restorative gathering invites you to unplug and reconnect with your imagination through the tactile joy of classic typewriters. Guided by Phillip and Elisabeth Nails of Typewriters Anonymous, the evening centers on process over product, offering space for reflection, play, and connection.

Whether adding a line to a community poem or finishing a long-overdue letter, each keystroke becomes an act of mindfulness and shared expression.

Suitable for ages 14 and up, all materials provided.

🤝 15th Annual Los Angeles Suicide Prevention Network Summit

Friday & Saturday, September 12-13, 2025 | All Day | Pasadena

Promotional flyer for the LASPN Summit 2025. The theme reads “Transforming Pain to Purpose: Building Communities of Hope.” A blue oval in the center says “SAVE THE DATE.” The event takes place September 12 and 13, 2025, at Pasadena City College. The background features colorful artwork of the Los Angeles skyline and neighborhoods. Logos of partner organizations appear along the bottom, including the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health, Los Angeles County Office of Education, Arts & Culture, Arts Ed Collective, Office of Violence Prevention, Department of Public Health, Teen Line, Didi Hirsch, and Pasadena City College.

Join us at the 2025 Suicide Prevention Summit to learn, connect, and collaborate on saving lives together

This powerful and unifying summit invites participants to come together around the shared mission of suicide prevention and healing.

Hosted by the Los Angeles Suicide Prevention Network, the annual LASPN Summit creates a space for mental health professionals, advocates, survivors, and community members to connect and learn.

Centered on the 2025 theme “Transforming Pain to Purpose: Building Communities of Hope,” the gathering offers workshops, motivational talks, therapeutic arts experiences, and opportunities to share lived experience and best practices.

Free and open to the public, the Summit will be held September 12–13, 2025 at Pasadena City College.

🔔 Centering Through Change: An Evening of Yin Yoga, Guided Breath, Sound Meditation, and Community (Suicide Prevention Fundraiser)

Friday, September 19, 2025 | 6:30–8:00 PM | Santa Monica

Flyer for Hive Therapy & Wellness Boutique event titled Centering Through Change: An Evening of Yin Yoga, Guided Breath, Sound Meditation, Community. Facilitators: Lauren Rozells, AMFT; Frances Zumbro, AMFT; and Meg Reinis, LMFT. Event date: Friday, September 19, 6:30–8:00 pm at Santa Monica Yoga, 1640 Ocean Park Blvd., Santa Monica, CA 90405. Cost: $56 per person or $103 for two. Limited spots, Venmo to reserve. Portion of proceeds go to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in honor of Mark Grillo for Suicide Prevention Month. Attendees should dress comfortably and bring their own mat. Contact: hivewellnessboutique.com or 310-896-8063. Images include people doing yoga, a seated meditation pose with a candle, and white sound bowls.

Resting and healing in community.

This grounding and restorative gathering invites you to slow down and reconnect through Yin Yoga, guided breath, and sound meditation. Led by Lauren Rozells, AMFT, Frances Zumbro, AMFT, and Meg Reinis, LMFT, the evening centers on community, presence, and gentle transformation.

Whether settling into mindful postures or immersing in resonant sound, each moment becomes an act of self-care and shared healing.

All levels welcome. Please dress comfortably and bring your own mat.

Reserve your spot today by pre-registering (Venmo @megreinis31)

🍂 Caring for the Caregivers: A New Season Beyond Burnout and Despair (FREE + Dinner)

Sunday, September 21, 2025 | 4:00–7:00 PM | Los Angeles (TBD)

“A forest pathway covered in fallen leaves, surrounded by tall trees with bright orange autumn foliage.”

Like autumn leaves, we gather together—each carrying our own weight, each offering color to the forest. This season reminds us: resilience grows in community.

The Provider Wellness Survey Project is a working group dedicated to strengthening the resilience and wellbeing of those who care for others. Mental health professionals are often exposed to high levels of stress, emotional exhaustion, and secondary trauma—this space is designed to help us come together, connect, and find support without judgment.

This is our first community meeting, and we are excited to invite you to join the conversation and share in a supportive circle.

Who Can Attend:
This gathering is open to clinicians of all levels and disciplines, including:

Student Interns (MSW, MFT, PCC, etc.)
Associate Therapists (ACSW, APCC, AMFT)
Licensed Therapists (LCSW, LPCC, LMFT)
Psychological Assistants
Psychology Interns/Externs
Psychologists (PhD/PsyD)
Psychiatric Nurse Practitioners
Psychiatrists
Counselors of all backgrounds
And other professionals working in mental health care

What to Expect:
Not a lecture, but a conversation.
Not isolation, but community.
Not just surviving, but building new seasons of strength.

Together, we’ll reflect, connect, and renew as we move from summer into fall.

Free and dinner will be served!

🎂 A Joyful Celebration: Honoring the 80th Birthdays of Jack Kornfield & Trudy Goodman

Saturday, September 27, 2025 | 2:00–5:00 PM PT

Jack Kornfield and Trudy Goodman smiling closely together on a sunny day, with Trudy wearing a large blue sunhat and Jack in a light purple shirt.

Jack Kornfield and Trudy Goodman—beloved teachers, partners, and pioneers in mindfulness—sharing a joyful moment ahead of their 80th birthday celebration.

Guided presence, shared stories, and gratitude for two beloved mindfulness teachers. Proceeds support InsightLA’s mission of access, equity, and care.

📅 Saturday, September 27 | 2:00–5:00 PM PT | Santa Monica + Live Online

🌅 Hope Group: September Mindfulness & Deep Suffering Gathering — Final Session

Virtual (Zoom) | Saturday, September 27, 2025 | 11:00–12:30 PM PT

HOPE for all

Since 2020, HOPE has been a steady refuge in turbulent times—a place to pause, breathe, and remember we are not alone.

As we close this chapter, we turn gently upstream, carrying forward the spirit of presence into a new gathering devoted to grief, loss, change, and transition. Starting in October, we will meet this new age of grief with mindful awareness, heartful practice, and a compassionate online community.

All are welcome to join our regular Mindfulness-Based Grief Relief (MBGR) series.

💛 Donation-based & open to all. Join us Saturday mornings on Zoom.

🌊 Get Help from the California Grief Center

“Smiling bald man, Brian Stefan, with a beard wearing a suit jacket and open-collar shirt, pictured against a light blue background.”

Brian Stefan, LCSW
Founder & Clinical Director
California Grief Center

You do not have to grieve alone. Whether you have lost someone, lost your way, or carry unspoken sorrow, there is a place for you here.

What We Offer:

Grief Therapy (in-person and virtual)
Catharsis Theater (monthly gatherings)
Virtual Support Groups (confidential and facilitated)
Grief Counselor Training (Fall 2025)

Our Philosophy: We do not treat grief as a problem. We treat it as a passage.
Consultations are always free.

💛 With care,
Brian Stefan, LCSW
Founder & Clinical Director
California Grief Center

✅ P.S. Know someone quietly grieving?
👉 Forward this letter. You never know who needs it.
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