The Grief Wave: When Grief Gets Painful

When grief gets painful, compassion helps it soften.

Now seeing clients throughout California and nationwide (virtually).

The California Grief Center offers therapy, support groups, and Catharsis Theater experiences designed to help you move through what hurts—whether you’ve lost someone, lost your way, or simply long to feel alive again.

Explore care, connection, and community at caligrief.com.

🧭 TL;DR | This Week at a Glance

✨ Profiles & Ideas
💜 Dr. Indira Henard — From Capitol Hill to community care, Dr. Indira Henard leads a movement that turns compassion into policy and survivors into change-makers

🎖️ The Echo of the Eleventh Hour — Honoring Veterans Day by remembering the courage, grief, and humanity behind every act of service

📰 News & Reminders
🧠 When Science Meets Suffering — New research challenges the “chemical imbalance” theory and opens a deeper understanding of how genes, brain wiring, and inflammation shape our emotional lives

🌡️ Living in the Age of Heat — Beyond carbon and crisis headlines, the quiet rise in temperature is rewriting how we live, work, and survive together

🎉 Events & Gatherings
🕯️ Nov 13 — Understanding Traumatic Grief Conference
(Lynnwood, WA + Virtual)

🙏 Nov 15 — Community Grief and Gratitude Ritual with Alexis Slutzky and Fellow Guides
(Santa Barbara)

🔔 Nov 20 — End Well 2025: A Day About Death & Life
(Los Angeles)

🌅 Dec 3–8 — 2025 Ram Dass Legacy “Open Your Heart in Paradise” Retreat
(Napili Kai Beach Resort, Maui)

💔 The Traumatic Loss Companion Course — An online program for navigating sudden, unexpected, or traumatic loss
(Virtual | Self-Paced)

🌊 California Grief Center
Virtual grief counseling in CA and nationwide, support groups, Catharsis Theater, and companionship for every stage of loss.

💌 Dear friends of The Grief Wave,

When grief gets painful, what we most need isn’t to be fixed—it’s to be met.
Sometimes the only way pain softens is when someone sits beside it. This week’s stories remind us that compassion is not passive; it’s an act of courage.

We honor those who turn suffering into service—like Dr. Indira Henard, whose leadership at the DC Rape Crisis Center transforms survivor care into policy and purpose, and the veterans whose bravery carries both duty and grief. Across each story runs a quiet thread: healing begins when we are seen, supported, and believed.

If your own grief feels sharp right now, let these pages be a place to rest. Compassion doesn’t erase pain—it gives it somewhere to breathe.

✨ Profiles & Ideas

💜 Dr. Indira Henard

From Capitol Hill to community care, Dr. Indira Henard leads a movement that turns compassion into policy and survivors into change-makers

Born in Washington, D.C., Dr. Indira Henard has built a life devoted to justice, healing, and systemic change. As Executive Director of the DC Rape Crisis Center—the nation’s oldest rape crisis center—she leads with both vision and compassion, grounding her work in feminist theory, anti-oppression practice, and survivor-centered care. Recognized nationally as one of the “Top Women Leaders of 2025” by Women We Admire, Dr. Henard embodies a rare blend of strategic leadership and deep humanity, shaping national conversations on gender-based violence while ensuring that every survivor in the District has the right to an advocate and a voice.

Educated at the National Catholic School of Social Service and the University of Southern California, Dr. Henard brings both academic rigor and lived commitment to her work. She has served as a Ralph Bunche Institute Fellow, a Congressional Truman Fellow, and a Charles Hamilton Houston Fellow at Georgetown Law. Before joining the Center, she worked with then-Senator Barack Obama on Capitol Hill and his presidential campaign—later choosing passion over politics by dedicating her career to ending gender-based violence.

At the helm of an organization more than fifty years strong, Dr. Henard champions sustainable advocacy, staff wellness, and survivor empowerment. Her leadership reminds us that social service is not just crisis response but a movement toward dignity, equity, and care. In every policy, partnership, and act of service, she carries one enduring belief: that healing and justice must rise together.

🎖️ The Echo of the Eleventh Hour

Honoring Veterans Day by remembering the courage, grief, and humanity behind every act of service

When we honor service, we honor sacrifice. Veterans Day, observed each year on November 11, began as Armistice Day—a commemoration of the end of World War I in 1918, when the guns fell silent on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. In 1954, after World War II and the Korean War, it became Veterans Day, a day not only to mourn the dead but to thank the living—those who have served and returned, carrying stories of courage, duty, and often invisible wounds.

Unlike Memorial Day, which honors those who died in military service, Veterans Day recognizes all who served—in war or peace, past or present. Across the nation, ceremonies at Arlington National Cemetery and local communities reflect both pride and remembrance, often joined by quiet grief for what service asks of individuals and families alike. Every veteran carries a piece of history; every act of remembrance is a promise that their service, and their suffering, will not be forgotten. To honor veterans is to hold both—the valor and the cost—and to remember that healing, too, is a form of service.

📰 News & Reminders

🧠 When Science Meets Suffering

New research challenges the “chemical imbalance” theory and opens a deeper understanding of how genes, brain wiring, and inflammation shape our emotional lives

On January 26, 2023, Quanta Magazine published an in-depth look at what really causes chronic depression, moving beyond the familiar story of a simple “chemical imbalance” in the brain. Drawing on decades of research, the article traces how serotonin rose to prominence through early tuberculosis drugs, SSRI development, and pop psychology, even as clinical trials and reviews failed to show that low serotonin levels reliably cause or accompany depression.

A major literature review led by Joanna Moncrieff at University College London screened 361 papers across six research areas and closely evaluated 17 of them, finding no convincing evidence that serotonin deficits are to blame. Instead, the piece highlights emerging ideas about genes, brain wiring, neuroplasticity, inflammation, and the gut–brain connection, suggesting that depression is less a single disease than an umbrella term—and that future care will likely tailor talk therapy, medication, neuromodulation, and lifestyle changes to each person’s unique mix of biology and environment.

🌡️ Living in the Age of Heat

Beyond carbon and crisis headlines, the quiet rise in temperature is rewriting how we live, work, and survive together

In 2025, as global temperatures continued to climb, the world entered what experts now call the age of heat. A rise of just a few degrees—once considered trivial—has become the difference between livable and lethal. In cities from Phoenix to Dhaka, heat now shapes when people work, play, and rest, quietly exhausting bodies, infrastructure, and economies. What once seemed like a distant risk has become a daily, invisible pressure on food, water, air, and shelter.

Scientists warn that we are not merely facing warmer weather, but an entirely new climate reality. Even if emissions fall, decades of stored heat are already reshaping life itself. Across sectors, from mayors to engineers, leaders are rethinking how to keep cities breathable and communities safe. The challenge ahead is no longer just about slowing change—it’s about surviving it. Building shade, resilience, and care into every system is how we learn to live with the heat that’s already here.

🎉 Events & Gatherings

🕯️ Nov 13 — Understanding Traumatic Grief Conference

Lynnwood, WA + Virtual | Thursday, November 13, 2025 | 9:00am-5:00pm PST

For nearly three decades, Support 7 has walked alongside those navigating the aftermath of loss—creating spaces of understanding, compassion, and education for professionals and community members alike.

This November, they gather at Alderwood Community Church in Lynnwood for the 2025 Understanding Traumatic Grief Conference, a full-day event dedicated to exploring the impact of overdose and traumatic loss. Guided by experts including Dr. Ted Rynearson, Dr. Steve Juergens, Paula Becker, Dr. Barry Brown, and Jennifer Levin, PhD, the conference offers powerful conversations, shared stories, and integrative insights into how grief touches body, mind, and spirit.

All are welcome—survivors, therapists, chaplains, first responders, and community members—to learn, connect, and honor those affected by addiction and loss. Together, we’ll deepen our understanding of grief and strengthen the networks of care that help carry it.

💙 $65 in-person (includes lunch) | $35 virtual
Thursday, Nov. 13, 2025 | 9:00 a.m.–4:00 p.m. | Alderwood Community Church, Lynnwood, WA

🙏 Community Grief and Gratitude Ritual with Alexis Slutzky and Fellow Guides

Santa Barbara | Saturday, November 15, 2025 | 9:30am - 5pm PST

For over two decades, Wild Belonging has gathered communities to honor the sacred connection between grief, love, and belonging—a shared space to remember, release, and renew the heart.

This fall, we meet at Trinity Episcopal Church in Santa Barbara for a Community Grief and Gratitude Ritual, a full-day gathering guided by Alexis Slutzky, MA, MFT, Elisabeth Gonella, Kolmi Majumdar, Rene Tonalli, Lauren David, and Team. Inspired by ancestral and earth-based traditions, the ritual invites us to express sorrow, sing, move, and be held in the beauty of togetherness.

Each ritual welcomes all—whether you come with fresh loss or quiet gratitude—offering a place to tend the heart, transform pain into care, and remember our shared humanity.

💛 Sliding-scale donation $40–$120. Saturday, Nov. 15, 2025 | 9:30 a.m.–5 p.m. PT | Trinity Episcopal Church, Santa Barbara.

🔔 End Well 2025: A Day About Death & Life

Los Angeles | Thursday, November 20, 2025

End Well gathers people from all walks of life to reimagine how we live, care, and connect—especially at life’s end.

This year’s theme, Radical Bravery, invites participants to show up fully: to face grief, illness, caregiving, and dying with open eyes and open hearts. It honors the quiet courage of individuals and the bold collective action needed to build a more compassionate world.

Throughout the day, participants explore how age-old wisdom, new technologies, and evolving models of care can transform our relationship with death and deepen our capacity for empathy and belonging. Together, the gathering challenges outdated narratives, sparks meaningful dialogue, and ignites a movement grounded in connection and care.

💛 Join in Los Angeles on Thursday, November 20, 2025.

🌅 2025 Ram Dass Legacy "Open Your Heart in Paradise" Maui Retreat

Napili Kai Beach Resort | December 3-8, 2025

Since 2008, the Ram Dass Legacy Retreat has been a sanctuary for seekers—a gathering to reflect, connect, and return to the heart.

As we approach December, we meet once more at the Napili Kai Beach Resort for Open Your Heart in Paradise, honoring Ram Dass’s vision with music, meditation, teachings, and community. This beloved retreat continues to welcome pilgrims, newcomers, and longtime friends alike on the spiritual path.

All are invited to join this immersive six-day experience of silence, song, practice, and celebration in Maui.

💛 Registration open now. Dec. 3–8, 2025, Napili Bay.

💔 The Traumatic Loss Companion Course (Virtual)

An online self-help program for individuals living with the aftermath of a sudden, unexpected or traumatic death of a loved one

Since its creation, the Traumatic Loss Companion Course has been a refuge for the grieving—a guided path through pain, chaos, and the search for meaning.

As you face the aftermath of a sudden, devastating death, you are invited to join this online program led by Dr. Jennifer Levin. With warmth and clarity, she offers video modules, guided practices, and community calls designed to support you through trauma and grief, step by step.

All are welcome to begin this self-paced journey of healing, understanding, and connection with others who truly understand.

💛 Enrollment open now. 12 modules online + monthly live calls.

🌊 Get Help from the California Grief Center

You do not have to grieve alone. Whether you have lost someone, lost your way, or carry unspoken sorrow, there is a place for you here.

Our Philosophy: We do not treat grief as a problem. We treat it as a passage.
Consultations are always free.

💛 With care,
Brian Stefan, LCSW
Founder & Clinical Director
California Grief Center

✅ P.S. Know someone quietly grieving?
👉 Forward this letter. You never know who needs it.
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